Setting and reaching goals is especially tough when you have fibromyalgia (FM) or CFS/ME, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't set them. It just means we have to customize our approach. I try to set some resolutions every year to keep me focused on my goals, but I try to be realistic about what I can accomplish.

Why Set Goals?

Having something to work toward is good for us. It can give your life some structure, improve your self esteem, and, as you reach a goal, it's actually therapeutic - you know that feeling of accomplishment? That comes from a release of norepinephrine in our brains, and most of us with FM & CFS/ME don't have enough of that particular neurotransmitter.

However, goal setting can backfire if you're too ambitious. You don't want to set yourself up for failure, and the negative feelings that go with it.

Setting Realistic Goals

Being realistic means taking into account your limitations and not expecting too much of yourself. For example, if you decide you're going to lose 5 pounds a week, you're likely to fail frequently and feel bad about it if you lose 2 or 3. A more realistic goal might be 1 pound a week. You're more likely to achieve that regularly, and suddenly a 2-3 pound loss is a major victory.

Be sure to consider all of your resources - do you have the time, energy, money, etc. to reach your goal? If not, downsize your expectations.

Here are some goal-setting guidelines:

• Think in baby steps. Break your goal into small components so you can see each step as an accomplishment. That can keep you from being overwhelmed, and also give you more opportunities to feel a sense of accomplishment.


• Build in more time than you think you need. You don't want to beat yourself up for getting behind, and yet your energy levels are unpredictable. Expect delays and plan for them.


• Write your goals down. Research shows that people who write down their goals are more likely to reach them. Try putting them someplace where you'll see them regularly.


• Re-evaluate periodically. Every so often, look back at how much you've accomplished and see whether your expectations were unrealistic.


• Identify potential barriers and ways to overcome them. Make a list of the things that may keep you from reaching your goal, or things that have kept you from reaching it in the past. Then, find solutions.